When in the Course of Human Events

The American Revolution had a lot happen in it. A lot of prominent early U.S. figures came out of this time. I propose that we hit the highlights on this journey.

Thomas "Bring on the" Paine was a Colonist who wrote a pamphlet known as "Common Sense". It called for a complete break from England. He denounced the King and wanted to be able to elect their own government.





This seemed like a grand idea! More and more Colonists agreed and so it would be.

Enter July of 1776 and a man named Thomas Jefferson. Jefferson had the task of writing something to say "Hey England...we're done."

He toiled over the perfect name and finally realized exactly what he was writing.




It was a declaration of independence...and so it would be called....The Declaration of Independence!

Jefferson wrote and wrote. He listed complaints against the King, he said all men were created equal and were entitled to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness [13].

It was signed on July 4, 1776 and sent to the King. Then they shot off fireworks and grilled out.

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[13]And by men he meant white men, not black men, or Native American men. Women? Please, that’s ridiculous. So even though when the constitution was first written it didn’t mention anything about black people, but it didn’t stop Will Smith from starring in the movie, The Pursuit of Happiness.

You say you want a Revolution

After the shot was fired, even more shots followed. Eight Colonists were dead and the British marched towards Concorde. On their way back through they were met by the Colonists, they fired and over 200 British soldiers were dead, the Colonists meant business.




The Colonists joined together and named George Washington[12] the Commander of the Continental Army. Washington was from Virginia and had wooden teeth, I bet that was creepy when he smiled.

Fighting continued and the colonists decided to send an "Olive Branch" petition. This petition said they would be loyal to the King but the taxes were redic.





The King rejected it and sent more troops to Boston.

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[12] He was called G-Dubs by his friends

The Shot Heard Around the World

The British were going to Lexington to arrest Sam Adams and John Hancock, notable men of the Sons of Liberty. After that they would go to Concorde for a drink, no...wait, it was to seize gun powder.

Because Revere, Dawes, and others are good at what they do, Minute Men were ready for the British [11]. The British and the Colonists met at Lexington Green and starred at each other.



Well, evidently the awkwardness of the starring contest proved to be too much and a shot was fired. It was the shot heard around the world.

The American Revolution had begun.

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[11] They got pumped by listening to Eye of the Tiger.

Minute Men eat minute rice..?

Minute Men were colonists who could be ready to go at a moments notice. The Colonists knew something was going to happen, but not when so they were always ready to hear the call of the messengers.

Listen my friends and you shall hear the midnight ride of William Dawes...that doesn't flow well, ok, how about midnight ride of Paul Revere.

William Dawes, and Paul Revere were both messengers, and it was their job to alert people of the British's movements. On the night of April 18, 1775 it was time to spring into action.

The British were mobilizing towards Lexington and Revere and Dawson were off...



They rode through towns yelling and alerting the other Colonists. Minute Men prepared to leave..well except the ones that just figured the town crier was drunk again.

How about a spot of tea?

Well, things had not gotten any better, the Colonists were angry, then another tax, a tax on tea....how dare they!



On December 16, 1773 a group who called themselves the Sons of Liberty, dressed up like Indians[9] and went aboard ships docked in Boston Harbor.
[9] How convenient…



They then threw the shipments of tea overboard. They were clever ad dubbed this the Boston Tea Party.

The Boston Tea Party didn't exactly make the British happy[10]. They retaliated by issuing the Intolerable Acts, they were just intolerable. Some of these were the closing of Boston Harbor, all town officlials were appointed by the King, and allowed trials of royal officals be moved to England.

There was more and more anger on both sides, more British soldiers were present in the area and revolution was in the air.

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[10] You know how people can get when they aren’t invited to parties

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Oh no they didn't...

Speaking of tense...March 5, 1770 was a day that bubbled over and blood was shed. this was the day of the Boston Massacre.



It started out with Colonists heckling and throwing snowballs at British soldiers.




And then the soldiers responded by firing their muskets into the crowd....snowballs, bullets, seems reasonable.

Five people lost their lives, which really isn't a massacre, but massacre is a great word for propaganda.

The Colonies

The Colonies were pretty interesting and there are many interesting stories about them. Such as the lost colony of Roanoke, or the crazy high jinks in Salem Massachusetts, where the very first "New World" >Your mom joke[8] came from. These are some examples that have made America America...lost people and accusing innocent people of witchcraft..ok, well maybe not what makes it America, but gives it some pizazz(?).

The 1700s though was a huge time for the colonies and so it is the next stop on our journey.

In 1754 there was a war, the French and Indian War. This was not between the French and Indians, but the French an dIndians and the British and the colonists, makes sense right? This was a fight for Canada and long story short, the British won.

The land in Canadian control went into the British hands. This is important because that was pretty much the end of French colonization in the New World. This made England super happy, because they hated France. A lot.



After the war with France, England had a bit of a problem, that problem was called debt, no one likes debt. So they decided to tax the colonies, they first started out with the Sugar Act. This was not popular, especially around Tea Time. You know those British and their tea. Fights would often break out in the colonies...weapon of choice? Spoons.



Other Acts and taxes followed such as the Stamp Act which taxed printed materials, like this blog if it were in a paper form. Then there was the Quartering Act, this required colonists to house and feed British troops.



After this there were more and more stipulations. The Colonists were tired of a King who didn't even live near them telling them what to do. Things were tense.

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[8] “Your mom’s a witch”